why do people think all of their problems will be solved if they lose weight?

yes, ok, you will feel better and possibly look better physically, at least to yourself, but really, do you expect your body shape to solve everything else in your life?

trust me, it wont.

you will still have all of the problems you had before, you will just not weigh the same!!

ive lost around forty pounds, and i am SO happy about that, but god, has that taken away anything i suffered before?

has it hell.

im still stressed, i still need another job, i still miss my kids when they arent here, i still cry over stupid things, i am still struggling with money, i still feel anxious and alone, i am still going through a hellish break up at the moment.

really, stop equating all your lifes happiness to what size jeans you will be wearing!

if you are waiting for that magic number on the scales, and thinking that once you get there, wow, you will have a perfect, fantastic, stress/problem free life, you are going to be SERIOUSLY disappointed!!!

..sue xxx

Let Cupid Take Aim at You

— By Carrie Myers Smith, Health & Exercise Expert

While many of us have an easy time showering other people with love, we find that Cupid has yet to hit us with the “body love” arrow. Don’t wait for Cupid! Begin today to start appreciating, accepting and yes, even loving your body.

Stop picking yourself apart
Let’s face it: No matter how close-to-perfection body you have (and just what is the perfect body anyway?), chances are, there is something you would change about it if you could. Even celebrities and models who have been stamped with the media’s “perfect body” rating have parts they dislike – their feet, their hands, their ears – and they don’t necessarily have high self-esteem either! Rather than pick your body apart, look at your body as a whole (and read the next point…)

Consider the marvelous functions of your body
There are millions of microscopic functions that go on in our bodies every day, and you don’t even have to think about them. They just happen! Unfortunately, it often takes a crisis or a tragedy, such as a brush with death, a go-around with a disease, or a debilitating accident for some women to realize that their bodies weren’t so bad to begin with and that their body hang-ups were a big waste of time. Don’t let that be the case with you! How much time are you spending each day worrying about your weight, your body shape, the size of your rear? What could you be doing during that time? Maybe you’re supposed to be the first female president, but you’ll never know because you’re too busy obsessing about your abs!

Get real
Did you know that most of the images you see on television, movies and magazines aren’t even real? A model for a magazine cover goes through hours of professional hair and make-up, has professional stylists, top photographers who know her “best side,” professional lighting, and that’s all before the chosen photo goes to a company where they remove stray hairs, wrinkles, blemishes and “extra” curves. Sometimes Model A’s head is stuck onto Model B’s body. What you see is totally made up!

And it’s not just fashion magazines that are creating a fantasy. Most of today’s “fitness” magazines are following suit. On top of airbrushing and computer generating their models, fitness magazines now need to audition their models to be sure they’re strong enough to just do basic exercises! Muscles are even airbrushed in! It’s time to get real! Find real role models who emanate the qualities you desire. Educate yourself about what really goes on “behind the scenes.” And realize that no one naturally “glows” the way those models in the magazines do!

Change your inner dialogue
It’s been said that we teach others how to treat us. If we believe that, the message that comes across to others is that we are not worth being liked, loved, or treated with respect. Most of it comes from what we’re not even saying. Choose to believe that you are worth taking care of and that you have the right to be respected and treated with dignity – and act like it!

Take care of your body
Diets, pills, quick-fixes, binging, not exercising, over-exercising, all these things disrespect one of the greatest gifts you have been given – your body! You only get one per lifetime, so give it the respect it deserves. You will not only feel better, but you just might become someone else’s role model!

Self-Love and Acceptance at Any Size

— By Ellen G. Goldman, M.Ed.

On a recent trip to California, I went on a hike in Runyon Canyon, a park near my daughter’s apartment.  During my climb, I overheard two women chatting behind me.  One was expressing concern regarding comments her teenage daughter had recently been making.  It seemed that she was miserable about her body, feeling ”fat” and ”ugly” compared with her other friends.  According to this woman, her daughter’s weight was well within the healthy range, and she had ”quite a lovely figure.”
 
I hiked on and began thinking about body image.  Why is it that so many people in America suffer from such poor body image?  I have watched too many of my daughter’s friends struggle, have met way too many women my own age who still express body dissatisfaction, and have even come across it with male clients over the years.  These days, you can never be thin enough, muscular or toned enough, or beautiful enough.  The effort and energy many are exerting to look better is not only exhausting, but also severely decreasing their happiness and life-satisfaction.
 
Humans have been concerned with appearance and physical attractiveness throughout history. However, in these modern times, it seems as if normal concerns have turned into obsession for far too many.  In today’s media, thin and attractive individuals are portrayed as being wealthier, happier, and more successful and carefree than those who are not thin. The way that we perceive our bodies is largely influenced by our perception of how we stack up against those media ideals, as well as against our peers. Poor body image not only decreases general life satisfaction and happiness, but it can also be potentially deadly if it spurs severe eating disorders or steroid use. Making a targeted effort to improve body image for ourselves and loved ones would be a smart, even life altering, thing to do.  But how?
 
The answer to this question goes way deeper than just working to improve your body to be the best it can be.  There’s nothing wrong with working to improve your body, especially when weight is compromising your health. These changes in lifestyle habits can be quite helpful, but only if accompanied by a mind-shift as well.
 
Let’s take a look at some ideas on how to boost body image, both for the short term and the long term.
 
Tips to boost your body image each day:

• Find one thing to compliment yourself on every day.   Often, when people are asked to come up with something they like about themselves, they focus on physical attributes. However, try to think beyond your appearance, to your uniqueness as an individual.  Take pride in things such as being a dependable employee, a great mom, or a reliable and caring friend.
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• Wear clothing that fits well and makes you feel great. If you’re bothered by the size on the label, cut it out!  Dressing in baggy apparel in an attempt to hide your body will end up making you feel frumpy.  Wear whatever makes you feel pleased with your appearance when you look in the mirror.
   
• 
• Exercise.  Studies show when individuals begin an exercise plan, they report increases in confidence, self-esteem and a decrease in negative body image even when overweight or obese.
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• Nourish your body with foods that will keep it functioning well so that you can do the things you love to do.  Think healthy, not skinny!
   
• 
• Thank your body with some pampering for the great job it does carrying you through the myriad of tasks you do on a daily basis. Massages, scented body lotions, and warm baths will have your body and your mind feeling great. 
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• Every time you receive a compliment, write it down in a journal.  If you’re having a rough day, take your journal out and relive that warm, fuzzy feeling you got when you first received that compliment.
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• Don’t join in the complaint brigade.  When your friends start bemoaning their bodies (and you’ll surely hear it at some point) don’t commiserate and join in with mutual complaints and put-downs.  Find something about their personality to compliment, and genuinely share what you find best in them.
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• Stop negative self-talk immediately.  When you catch yourself slipping into negative self-talk (e.g. my thighs are so big, I hate my stomach, my nose is crooked and ugly, etc.) stop immediately.  Counter balance that thought with a loving one. Would you say such critical things to your best friend? Of course not! It’s time to become your own best friend and treat yourself with kindness and respect.

 
Tips to continue boosting your body image over time:

• Experiment with mind-body exercises. Many people report that activities such as yoga, Tai Chi and dance make them feel more connected and loving toward their bodies. Try out some classes at your local gym or studio and find something that resonates with you.
   
• Ask your friends and loved ones what they enjoy most about you.  I bet no one will mention anything related to your body— just your personality and nature. How we behave and interact with others is what makes us who we are, not the shape of our bodies.  
   
• Explore and appreciate your personal strengths.  We each have our own strengths and talents.  When we share them, we impact the lives of others and make the world a better place.  People don’t care what shape your body is in; they just appreciate the gifts you share. 
   
• Take stock and marvel at what your body is capable of doing, no matter what size it is.  Write down all the things your body can do that bring you joy.  Your legs carry you from place to place and up and down stairs.  Your arms allow you to hug your loved ones or lift your child.  Your stomach digests the food you eat, and your eyes allow you to see the world around you. Cherish these things as often as you can and remind yourself how lucky you are to be alive. 
   
• Who do you look up to, admire, or seek as role models?  Make a list of what it is about them you value.  I guarantee it’s what inside, not what you see on the outside.
   
• Become media savvy.  Understand that the pictures of models seen in magazines and on billboards are extremely enhanced.  If you compare yourself to those images, you will always end up feeling bad.  Stop looking at fashion magazines if they bring up bad feelings and strive to only surround yourself with positive, realistic images.
   
• Consider throwing the scale away.  If you find yourself stepping on and off the scale numerous times a day and letting it affect your mood, throw it out!  The number on the scale is fickle and can change drastically depending on your most recent meal, hydration, menstruation, and even the weather.  When making lifestyle changes to lose weight, measure your progress by the way your clothing fits, tape measurements, or most importantly, how you feel.  If you do step on the scale, do so only once a week, at the same time of day each time, dressed in the same clothing.  The scale is simply an educational tool that lets you know if your habits are helping you reach your goals or if they need to be adjusted.

 
The road to a healthy body image can be a long one, especially if you have been struggling with poor body image for years. However, by taking deliberate steps to stop the toxic negative self-talk, it is entirely possible to be content—even happy!—with the way you look, at any size. By surrounding yourself with positive thoughts, friends, and images, you’ll be one step closer on the road to body bliss.
 
 
 
Sources:

            The Australian Psychological Society.  ”The Man Behind the Mask: Male Body Image Dissatisfaction,”  accessed April 2012. www.psychology.org.au.

            Cash, Ph.D. Thomas, and Linda Smolak, Ph.D. 2011. Body Image: A Handbook of Science, Practice and Prevention. New York: The Guilford Press.

            Mayo Clinic. ”Body Dysmorphic Disorder,” accessed April 2012. www.mayoclinic.com.

            ScienceDaily. ”Negative Body Image Related To Depression, Anxiety And Suicidality,” accessed April 2012. www.sciencedaily.com.
 

What is body image? 

Body image is your attitude towards your body - how you see yourself, how you think and feel about the way you look and how you think others perceive you. Your body image can be influenced by your own beliefs and attitudes as well as those of society, the media and peer groups.

An unhealthy body image is thinking your body is bigger or smaller that it is in reality, believing that you aren’t perfect on the outside, and thinking that how you look on the outside is your entirety. You are more than just your skin!

A healthy body image is being comfortable in your own skin, being happy with the way you look, and feeling good within yourself.

For more info on body image issues specific to guys check out the Body image + blokes fact sheet.

How do people get unhealthy body image?

It is likely that you come across images of other people from all over the place on a daily basis. These images probably include a large proportion of images of super-slim or buff male and female models in magazines, super-skinny celebrities on TV, and slender mannequins in stores, and it is possible that being bombarded by all these images might make you feel bad about yourself and the way your body looks, and you may feel like it is important to be like them.

In truth, over the course of history, the ideal body shape has changed. It has always been the opposite of the social climate. During the potato famine in Ireland, it was very stylish to be plump, as it showed style and wealth. These days, some reasons why it is fashionable to be slim and well toned might be that it shows you have the money for a gym membership or a personal trainer.

Body image: did you know?

• Only about 5 to 10% of women are in the height and weight range of models.
• Males are also unlikely to the height and weight range of models.
• The images of models (male and female) portrayed in magazines are altered with airbrushing and fancy lighting.
• The images in magazines don’t reflect different shapes, cultures, and sizes. They have a “one size fits all” policy to our multicultural and diverse world.
• Dress models (for girls) in stores are an average size 8, yet the average women is between a 12 and 16, and the guy models are super toned, size 30s. Have you noticed the only size of men’s pants you can ever find at the shops are 30s?
• When it comes to weight, genetics may be more important than the environment or learned behaviour.

Unhealthy body image can damage your self-esteem

An unhealthy body image can damage your self-esteem. Once you feel bad about the way you look, you may be inclined to think that you, as a person, are not as worthy. No matter what you look like, you are special. A person with a healthy body image will, most likely, have clear boundaries between body image and self image.

If you are feeling inadequate about your body or yourself in general, it may be worth talking to someone about it. This may be a family member, friend, teacher or counsellor.

Check out the Who can help you section for more information about how these people might be able to help. A happier and more confident you may also translate to others reacting more positively towards you.

How to get a more positive body image

Instead of passively receiving unrealistic images, why don’t you:

Question messages in the media - Every time you see a magazine article telling you to become thinner/wear a particular type of clothing/buy a certain kind of shampoo, ask yourself why the article is doing so. Is it to sell more copies or to encourage the purchase of a particular item? What will happen to you if you don’t listen to the article? What would you think if you hadn’t read the article at all?

Are the images you see in the media showing strong, respectable, smart people or are they showing somebody solely focused on how pretty or handsome they are?

Stand up for your rights - You don’t have to listen to what other people say about how you look. You have the right to be happy with who you are. Don’t let anybody take that away from you.

Choose your media - Does reading magazines actually improve your life? Do you want to be a girl or guy out there only to impress a potential boyfriend or girlfriend, or do you want to be somebody out there to live life to the fullest?

Find your own style - Wear what you want to wear and not what is in fashion.  Fashion comes and goes but we’ll outlast the trends!

Describe yourself - Without a single word to your physique, say good things about yourself. Try to describe your friends without how they look. Think of the good parts of them. When you come up with something, tell them! It will make their day all the better and we can never underestimate the power of our words.

lol. oh how times have changed!!

..sue xx

Building a Better Body Image

— By Dean Anderson, Behavioral Psychology Expert

“I really want to lose weight. I hate the way I look and feel, and I know things will be much better when I get the weight off. But I just can’t stay motivated to do it. I think there must be something wrong with me.”

If this sounds like something you say to yourself, I’ve got good news for you. There probably isn’t anything seriously wrong with you. You have a very common problem that affects many people who want to lose weight—expecting your negative feelings about your body to do something they can’t do.

The motivation you need to successfully lose weight is like a fire. It will burn hot and long when you provide it with the fuel it needs, but it will die out quickly if you don’t. Disliking how you look and feel might provide decent kindling to get the weight-loss fire started, but it’s not the proper fuel source to keep it going.

When you’re driven by negative thoughts about yourself, you just don’t have the raw materials that are necessary to achieve the results you want. This problem lies in how our minds work. If I were to tell you, for example, that I’ll give you $1,000 if you can manage to not let the thought of “chocolate” enter your mind during the next 60 seconds, do you think my bank balance would be in big trouble? I don’t. It’s certain that some of your next few thoughts would have something to do with chocolate. Most likely, you’ll wonder how you can stop yourself from thinking about chocolate for 60 seconds—oops, too late! You lose, and my $1000 stays safely in my bank account. It’s virtually impossible to not think about something for a minute, when that’s what you set out to do. Try it for yourself.

The same thing happens when you set out to lose weight because you don’t like your body. The first thing you’re likely to do every morning is notice how fat you still are, think about the food you can’t eat, or lie in bed, wishing you didn’t have to get up early to exercise. You might as well throw a big bucket of ice water on that motivational fire of yours, because sooner or later, you’re going to get very weary of this constant struggle and give up.

So, what’s the alternative? What do you do if the reason you want to lose weight is because you don’t like the way you look or feel? Where do you find the right fuel for your motivational fire?

Use your imagination.

Imagination: More Important than Will Power
One thing that it’s crucial to understand is that being overweight isn’t the cause of your unhappiness, and simply weighing less won’t make you feel better about yourself and your life. It’s all the things you think about your body that make you unhappy, and it’s changing those thoughts that will make you feel better and help you lose weight.

Think about it. Imagine you live in a society where people find thinness repulsive and being fat is the marker of beauty, desirability, and good character. Everywhere you look, there are images of happy fat people wearing the best clothes, driving the best cars, getting the hot dates, and landing the best jobs. Would you still feel bad about yourself? Would you still feel like you have to lose weight in order to get what you want and need in life? Probably not. Even if you still felt bad about yourself, you wouldn’t be focused on your weight, but rather on something else that your culture didn’t like—the size of your feet, or the slope of your nose, for example.

But we do live in a society that confronts us with very negative messages about being fat. Most of us start absorbing these messages as we are just learning to talk, and they soon become a big part of how we view and evaluate ourselves, explain the things that happen to us, and decide what needs to change if we want to feel and do better.

And sadly, it usually isn’t enough to simply recognize that “fat-loathing” is just a cultural prejudice you can choose to reject. You have to replace it with something equally as powerful, and that’s hard to come by after years of being conditioned to hate your own body. For many, the idea of accepting yourself and loving yourself sounds good, but it just doesn’t have the same emotional force that your negative self-image does. So you find yourself being pulled back to that negative image over and over again, and remaining stuck in the motivational problems it causes.

But you can use your imagination to break the power of your negative self-image and replace it with something equally powerful. Here are some suggestions:

Imagine that your negative body image isn’t really yours. Imagine someone else planted it in your head to keep you trapped in an endless quest for a better body. Imagine who this “someone else” is and why they’ve done this. You could imagine, for example, that a secret group of very rich and powerful people use the media, fashion and advertising industries to convince people that they need to be thin, hard-bodied, and youthful to be happy, so they’ll keep buying diet books, magazines and gimmicks. Whatever story you come up with, create one that makes you feel angry that someone else could take advantage of you this way.

Imagine that the negative body image implanted in your brain has suddenly been removed. You wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and don’t have any reactions at all. You know how you used to react and why, but realize that all those old feelings and thoughts weren’t yours. Imagine that you’re very determined not to let them back in again. What are your real feelings and thoughts about your body? Take some time to look yourself over thoroughly, touch your skin, move around, notice all the sensations you’re experiencing, and so on. Spend a few days going through your regular routines—getting dressed, eating, working, exercising, and all the other things you do—paying close attention to what your body is doing at each moment and how it feels. Take notes, if you want to.

After a few days, sit down and try to express in words how you feel about your body. What can it do, or not do? Which of those things make you feel good and give you pleasure, and which don’t? Are there any things you’d like to be doing more or less of, based on how they make you feel?

By completing an exercise like this, you will discover the feelings, thoughts and beliefs that will provide the best fuel to keep your motivational fire burning. You will get out of your head (and away from its “programmed” image of your body), and into your actual body with an open mind. You will learn what your body needs and wants, what it is capable of doing, and what it can tell you about how to make choices and take actions that are satisfying and rewarding.

You may be surprised to find out how easy it becomes to exercise regularly, eat well, and reach a healthy weight when you stop treating your amazing body as the problem, and start using it as the solution.

Let Cupid Take Aim at You

— By Carrie Myers Smith, Health & Exercise Expert

While many of us have an easy time showering other people with love, we find that Cupid has yet to hit us with the “body love” arrow. Don’t wait for Cupid! Begin today to start appreciating, accepting and yes, even loving your body.

Stop picking yourself apart
Let’s face it: No matter how close-to-perfection body you have (and just what is the perfect body anyway?), chances are, there is something you would change about it if you could. Even celebrities and models who have been stamped with the media’s “perfect body” rating have parts they dislike – their feet, their hands, their ears – and they don’t necessarily have high self-esteem either! Rather than pick your body apart, look at your body as a whole (and read the next point…)

Consider the marvelous functions of your body
There are millions of microscopic functions that go on in our bodies every day, and you don’t even have to think about them. They just happen! Unfortunately, it often takes a crisis or a tragedy, such as a brush with death, a go-around with a disease, or a debilitating accident for some women to realize that their bodies weren’t so bad to begin with and that their body hang-ups were a big waste of time. Don’t let that be the case with you! How much time are you spending each day worrying about your weight, your body shape, the size of your rear? What could you be doing during that time? Maybe you’re supposed to be the first female president, but you’ll never know because you’re too busy obsessing about your abs!

Get real
Did you know that most of the images you see on television, movies and magazines aren’t even real? A model for a magazine cover goes through hours of professional hair and make-up, has professional stylists, top photographers who know her “best side,” professional lighting, and that’s all before the chosen photo goes to a company where they remove stray hairs, wrinkles, blemishes and “extra” curves. Sometimes Model A’s head is stuck onto Model B’s body. What you see is totally made up!

And it’s not just fashion magazines that are creating a fantasy. Most of today’s “fitness” magazines are following suit. On top of airbrushing and computer generating their models, fitness magazines now need to audition their models to be sure they’re strong enough to just do basic exercises! Muscles are even airbrushed in! It’s time to get real! Find real role models who emanate the qualities you desire. Educate yourself about what really goes on “behind the scenes.” And realize that no one naturally “glows” the way those models in the magazines do!

Change your inner dialogue
It’s been said that we teach others how to treat us. If we believe that, the message that comes across to others is that we are not worth being liked, loved, or treated with respect. Most of it comes from what we’re not even saying. Choose to believe that you are worth taking care of and that you have the right to be respected and treated with dignity – and act like it!

Take care of your body
Diets, pills, quick-fixes, binging, not exercising, over-exercising, all these things disrespect one of the greatest gifts you have been given – your body! You only get one per lifetime, so give it the respect it deserves. You will not only feel better, but you just might become someone else’s role model!

By Lorraine Smith

Lorraine Smith explains the pressures the media puts on women to be thin and beautiful.

Shortly after Christmas I was feeling fat, which is not an unusual occurrence but was actually justified at the time due to the amount of calories I had consumed over the previous few weeks. I was also feeling old and unfashionable due to an evening spent in a pub packed with people between 4 and 10 years younger than me who were wearing outfits purchased in the last 4 months, as opposed to the last 4 years.

I occasionally find myself wishing I was something other than I am.

Although there’s no real pressure on me to conform to a young, thin and fashionable stereotype, I still find myself occasionally wishing I was something other than I am. Most of the time I am quite happy with the way I look. I know I have a big bottom and would love to have longer legs but there’s no point in worrying about things I have little hope of ever changing, as I will just end up feeling depressed and overcome by feelings of self doubt. I’ve never been one to look at photos in magazines and fret that I don’t match up to the image of apparent perfection that they portray, as they are generally airbrushed pictures of unusual looking models, but I have recently noticed that I am actually affected by images on television and in magazines.

I didn’t realise just how few media images there are of women I can relate to until one television advert really made me smile. It was for the Nokia 7650 where three men expose their bellies to wish happy birthday to a colleague, who then takes a picture with her phone. It’s full of normal looking people just being themselves which is rare in today’s media, and even more so in advertising.

Why do so many rational women have body image problems? Research by the University of Glasgow suggested that women are up to ten times more likely than men to be unhappy with their body image. Why is this? Who is putting pressure on us to be young and thin? You don’t have to go too far to find an answer to this question: just as far as your television set, in fact. When we’re not being bombarded with images of tall, slender and glamorous young women in programmes where all the fat characters are there for comedy value only, we then get subjected to adverts for Weight Watchers and Slim Fast during the commercial breaks. OK so, no one has told us that we simply must buy these products in order to look like these people, but it doesn’t help when you go shopping for clothes only to find that nothing fits.

We’re bombarded with images of tall, slender and glamorous young women.

So-called ‘fashionable’ retailers skimp on fabric so their sizes come up smaller, and they shape their garments for a more athletic figure than the majority of women have. This means that a lot of women feel abnormal when they are in fact quite the opposite, and it is affecting us at a younger age than ever before. Teenagers have always been teased at school for looking fatter, thinner, taller or shorter than their peers but, as the magazine market for young girls increases and the desire to grow up kicks in at earlier ages than ever before, young women are finding it more and more difficult to accept the way they look. A survey of 500 school pupils by the Young Women’s Christian Association revealed that one in three thought about their body shape all the time and only 14% were happy with the way they look.

Television companies, clothing retailers, magazine editors, advertising agencies and Hollywood should all really do more to halt this trend. We need images of women who we can aspire to be like, but not simply because they look a certain way. After all, there’s more to glamour than looking good in a bikini. Jamie Lee Curtis posed sans make-up and photo re-touching for a magazine last year, then Kate Winslet destroyed all her earlier good work and caused outrage earlier this year with her blatantly airbrushed cover for a men’s mag.

Every now and again someone in the media mentions that there is a problem (remember British Vogue’s shoot with a size 14 model?), only to merrily sweep it back under the carpet again once they have cashed in. Perhaps we shouldn’t wait for the media to catch up and should focus on ourselves first, but it’s tricky to “love the skin you’re in” when you’re constantly being told that you have too much of the damn stuff in the first place.

Society accepts a far wider variety of male body shapes than female.

The thing that bothers me the most about all this, however, is that men are not under the same pressure to conform. Although there is evidence to suggest that men are becoming more obsessed with their appearance than ever before (usually by being urged to replace their keg with a six-pack if they want to impress us), society accepts a far wider variety of male body shapes than female. Men are still adored by their girlfriends/wives when they pile on the pounds, but then find these same women unattractive if they happen go up a couple of dress sizes. Men can go without shaving and still feel sexy, but woman misplaces her razor and all hell breaks loose! Men can grow old gracefully, whereas women are constantly being told that wrinkles are bad and will make you look like an extra for Last of the Summer Wine before you’re thirty if you don’t spend at least fifteen quid on a pot of cream.

I suspect that social conditioning has a lot to do with this, but most men do seem to be immune to the media images of sultry male models draped in young girls, preferring instead just to look at the girls. Buy a women’s magazine and you will see pictures of the young and slender women that, in someone’s ideal world, we are all supposed to look like. Buy a copy of a men’s magazine, however, and you will see photos of the same women. There may be men on the fashion pages, but the readers will doubtless be looking at just the clothes by this point. Why can’t we do that? Sometimes I wonder if women are in fact their own worst enemy when it comes to the poor image they have of their own body.